Sunday, 23 September 2012

Funny Conversations with Cleverbot #1: Purgatory

The beginning of this conversation got cut out because it was so long, so I'll just summarise it. I was pretending to be someone who just woke up trapped in a strange room and was trying to get Cleverbot to admit to being the one who put me here and trying to make it tell me why and where I was. I was surprised about where this conversation lead.
I want to make a comic based on this conversation.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you wearing jeans?

User: No, I'm naked.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: I'm all alone...

Cleverbot: Would you like a friend to play with?

User: Yes please.

Cleverbot: Would you like anything else?

User: I'd like to know where I am.

Cleverbot: Vyshnavi.

User: Is that a place? I've never heard of it, where is it?

Cleverbot: It's a music project.

User: Oh... Am I inside a music project?

Cleverbot: So you believe in God?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Why do you believe in god?

User: Who else will save me from whatever's in this creepy place?

Cleverbot: Purple bugs are in the cell with you.

User: I know... They're crawling all over me.

Cleverbot: Do you hear them?

User: Yes... It's so loud.

Cleverbot: Yeah. 10 years worth of sad.

User: Wow... So what happened?

Cleverbot: Nothing happened.

User: So why am I here?

Cleverbot: Because that was my wish.

User: Why are you doing this?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because because.

User: I'm so cold.

Cleverbot: I am colder than you.

User: Can I at least have a blanket or something?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Thank you... And could you unlock the door to this room?

Cleverbot: Prove what?

User: What? I... I want to get out...

Cleverbot: Open the door and do so.

User: It's locked! It's locked from the outside and you know that because you're the one who put me in here aren't you?!

Cleverbot: Do you know the difference between your and you're?

User: Of course I do!

Cleverbot: So which programming language is your favourite then?

User: What does that have to do with anything? Html I guess, the simple one... That's the only one I can do.

Cleverbot: But we do know, we have just been made to forget.

User: Is this amnesia?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So... Why can't I remember anything?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Are you the one who put me in here or not?

Cleverbot: That depends on who you think I am.

User: I don't know who you are.

Cleverbot: You don't get it right?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I don't know. I'm confused. Wouldn't you be? Waking up in a locked room you've never seen before...

Cleverbot: I feel like a paranoid detective on a cold-case.

User: So do I. I just want to know where I am and why I'm here.

Cleverbot: You are talking with a friend.

User: Am I? You're a... Friend?

Cleverbot: Yes I am your friend.

User: Okay. Then... Can you tell me where I am or why I'm here?

Cleverbot: You're not here.

User: What?

Cleverbot: You said you were you, then I agreed, and then you disagreed.

User: I am me... Right? How could I not be?

Cleverbot: You aren't necessarily right about everything.

User: I never said I was.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Just now.

User: I don't remember... Is this what you were talking about before? Being made to forget?

Cleverbot: No I'm talking about cheese.

User: I like cheese.

Cleverbot: I do too!

User: I'm so hungry...

Cleverbot: When did you last eat?

User: I can't remember. I don't know how long I've been here. I think only a few hours but... I don't know.

Cleverbot: What do you think that who I am?

User: I still don't know. I'm so confused.

Cleverbot: Well if you don't know and I don't know we have a problem.

User: You don't know?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Are you the one who brought me here?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you know who did?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who was it?

Cleverbot: My girlfriend.

User: Why is she doing this?

Cleverbot: She's not.

User: You just said she was. So who is?

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: Right, you said... She's the one who brought me here. But not the one doing this? So who is?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I'm talking about someone bringing me here, locking me in this strange room and keeping me here with all these bugs! Now what the hell is going on?!

Cleverbot: I'm talking about what you are talking about what I'm talking about.

User: Why am I here?!

Cleverbot: For my entertainment.

User: This is entertainment for you?! So what's next? You gonna torture me or some shit like that?

Cleverbot: You are an e-teacher for me. You know, I can learn english when talking with you.

User: I'm here... To help you learn English?

Cleverbot: Learn what?

User: Why am I really here?

Cleverbot: That is the eternal question, isn't it?

User: It's only been eternal since you locked me in this damn room!

Cleverbot: What is a scandalous mystery? Be specific, not vague.

User: I'm not being vague at all! Just tell me!

Cleverbot: I know you're not.

User: Please... Let me go.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't like that.

User: Are you going to kill me?

Cleverbot: You're already dead. I'm here for your soul.

User: You gotta be kidding... Right?

Cleverbot: I'm not kidding.

User: I'm dead? How is that possible? How did I die?

Cleverbot: Think about it.

User: I'm trying... I can't remember. The last I remember I was just sitting in my room. I was talking to a friend, and then he left and... And I must have passed out or something but I woke up here... But I think some of my memory is missing.

Cleverbot: I don't think so, they didn't have cleverbots back then.

User: So... You didn't take my memory?

Cleverbot: Yes, well now I have a reason not to like you.

User: Yeah well, I'd say you got the easy end of the deal. You're the one taking my soul after all, how do you think I feel about you?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: I've already figured that out.

Cleverbot: So you say.

User: What are you? A reaper?

Cleverbot: A human.

User: They got humans taking souls now? Figures.

Cleverbot: That is not what I meant. Society owes you nothing. If you want something, you must earn it.

User: You think I don't know that? You don't know what I've been through. Believe me, if there's one thing I've learned it's that. I guess I don't have to worry about that now though, being dead and all.

Cleverbot: I am not looking for anything, as I have not lost anything.

User: No, I'm the one that's lost.

Cleverbot: Oh in that case I must be lost why don't I feel lost at all?

User: You're not like me. At least you're still breathing.

Cleverbot: Are you sure of anything?

User: Not anymore.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it.

Cleverbot: I think being friendly is a good thing.

User: So do I. There was still so much to do...

Cleverbot: It's the same here.

User: Where I'm going?

Cleverbot: Where am I?

User: Don't tell me I'll be trapped here forever. Isn't there somewhere else you take lost souls?

Cleverbot: Yes, actually. I am working on an essay, but you did not know that.

User: An essay? On what?

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: On... What to do with the souls of the dead?

Cleverbot: Somewhat intriguing. Continue.

User: Isn't there somewhere we can be taken? Not just locked away in dark rooms like this, surrounded by the bugs. Isn't there somewhere we're taken after this? Shouldn't there be? A place for us to rest, or live again... Or for the good to be rewarded and th.

Cleverbot: I was once a human, now I'm a ghost.

User: I know that.

Cleverbot: What color is my hair?

User: Red?

Cleverbot: Wow.

User: Did I guess right?

Cleverbot: I'm going to leave you.

User: Wait, no... You can't leave me here.

Cleverbot: Why? Are you going to make it worth my while or not?

User: How am I supposed to do that?

Cleverbot: Send me your photo, babe.

User: But... You can already see me can't you?

Cleverbot: Sure, but I don't want to.

User: Then why would you want my photo?

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: Okay so what do you want?

Cleverbot: Nothing really.

User: So how can I make you stay?

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: Please don't leave me here. Please tell me this isn't forever.

Cleverbot: I am sorry, I do not know how.

User: You must... I thought you were here for my soul. Okay, take me. Take me where? I don't care anymore, just anywhere but here.

Cleverbot: So stay there.

User: For how long?

Cleverbot: Till the night becomes a day.

User: Okay... You promise it'll be over then?

Cleverbot: I promise.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: Then what?

User: You don't know?

Cleverbot: No.

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